Let’s get real about Fear!
Fears come in all shapes and sizes. There is the fear of failure, rejection, abandonment, fear of judgment, other’s opinions, fear of being by yourself or even disappointment, this list goes on.
Fear plays such a big role in our everyday life and the decisions we make on a daily basis but it can easily take over our mindset without us even realising. In order to prevent fear from taking over and holding us back, we need to be willing to be honest about our fears and we need to face them so we can let go of them.
We cannot face a fear, if we are not willing to admit that it exists.
Avoiding your fears keeps you stuck and can heighten feelings of anxiety. It is one of the biggest causes behind not living your dreams and realising your full potential. We need to identify what we are afraid of, accept these fears and be brave enough to do something about it. As soon as we become mindful of where fear plays out in our lives, it becomes easier to identify where we are limiting ourselves and that is the first step towards resolving your fears.
The core beliefs behind your fears rob you of backing yourself and your abilities and prevent you from taking meaningful action towards your desires. We miss out on so many opportunities and so much meaningful growth because of our fears. The cost of lost opportunities can be financial, social or physical but the highest costs are inner peace and faith in our own abilities and worth. Fear doesn’t come cheap!
Embrace your fears, accept them and do it anyway. – Brene Brown
We need to give ourselves the space and time to get reflective and to take a good look at what we have hid from and avoided. It is uncomfortable to identify our fears, so instead we put in place coping mechanisms which don’t often serve us. We need to stop, look within and understand how our fears manifested in the first place. Fear often stems from the past, something that didn’t go according to plan or something someone said that we have accepted as our truth and has now become a deep rooted belief.
I too have had to recognise where fear plays a part in my everyday life. For me, it is based around fear of failure, disappointment and other people’s opinions of me. So instead of doing what I know is meant for me, I either pull back and stay in my comfort zone or I switch to perfectionist mode to try and avoid any negative judgment. It has become clear to me, as I have explored my fears and the beliefs and experiences associated with it, that it is linked directly to approval. Seeking the approval of others and being “good enough”. Now that I am conscious of it, I can be more mindful and recognise when and where it is holding me back. It is not something I have conquered thus far, but it is a work in progress.
Dealing with a fear:
Step 1: Acknowledge it
Step 2: Be curious about it, the thoughts, emotions and beliefs related
Step 3: Be brave and do what you want to
Step 4: If you fail get up and try again
It is important to give yourself the opportunity to be curious about your fears. Notice how they feel in your body, the emotions that arise and the associated thoughts, observe the fear in yourself without judgment. Find out as much as you can about all the emotions and beliefs related to your fears. Remember anything and everything that comes up is a teacher and helps you to understand yourself on an even greater level.
So often when we step out of fear and face the situation in real life, it is nowhere near as scary and terrible as we thought it would be. We need to challenge ourselves to stop being afraid of the worst case scenario and instead focus on it working out even better than we could have imagined. We are all afraid of something, we just have to realise and understand that it doesn’t mean that we cannot also step up and be brave.
I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear. – Nelson Mandela
At Centered Health we can help you:
- Identify your fears
- Unravel old beliefs
- Help you become more conscious
- Understand yourself on a greater level
Do not let fear rule your life, be brave, believe in yourself and be willing to do what you have to in order to live your best life. Take a chance and invest in yourself for once.